I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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