I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
