he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
