shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
