clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize