The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
