Ambien. No doubt about it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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