We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
