Swine flu. Run for my life!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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