god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.