The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
