your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize