I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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