Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
