I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
