I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
