so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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