I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
