names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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