The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
honey bunches of taint.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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