Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You need Xanax blowdarts
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize