I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
In America we eat man semen.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
