I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
