Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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