just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
