I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it's like iHOP with fire
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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