This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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