i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
