hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.