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• (917): View more from New York City

  hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great

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• (607): View more from New York

  Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah

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• (619): View more from California

  Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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• (716): View more from New York

  Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.

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