Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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(703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5

Replies (7) Good night (763) Bad night (1577)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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(330): I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going? http://tfl.nu/4uq9

Replies (49) Good night (1318) Bad night (20888)
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(773): View more from Illinois

When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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(773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m

Replies (67) Good night (765) Bad night (5951)
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(410): View more from Maryland

She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee

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(410): She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee http://tfl.nu/dwkb

Replies (20) Good night (1152) Bad night (3682)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.

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(865): Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off. http://tfl.nu/a9zf

Replies (17) Good night (4272) Bad night (978)
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(434): View more from Virginia

It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.

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(434): It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me. http://tfl.nu/2yad

Replies (12) Good night (4376) Bad night (955)
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(713): View more from Texas

I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.

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(713): I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me. http://tfl.nu/01pr

Replies (6) Good night (1372) Bad night (825)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?

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(919): Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas? http://tfl.nu/7kpc

Replies (6) Good night (2092) Bad night (1273)
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(214): View more from Texas

So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

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(214): So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo. http://tfl.nu/7r9s

Replies (3) Good night (1817) Bad night (564)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.

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(541): I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that. http://tfl.nu/zm0m

Replies (3) Good night (1504) Bad night (564)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.

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(410): I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while. http://tfl.nu/y6er

Replies (10) Good night (1232) Bad night (891)
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(240): View more from Maryland

SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP

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(240): SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP http://tfl.nu/udxy

Replies (18) Good night (886) Bad night (2465)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat

(615): View more from Tennessee

And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing

(203): View more from Connecticut

Did you run away?

(615): View more from Tennessee

I DANCED AWAY.

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(615): I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat (615): And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing (203): Did you run away? (615): I DANCED AWAY. http://tfl.nu/ipjx

Replies (2) Good night (1008) Bad night (480)
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(849): View more from

Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons

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(849): Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons http://tfl.nu/2why

Replies (6) Good night (591) Bad night (414)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out

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(605): Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out http://tfl.nu/kg6k

Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (128)

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