It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
