Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize