I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
