Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
