tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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