life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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