this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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