Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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(631): View more from New York

She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Haha did she know what fisting meant?

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

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(914): View more from New York

all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.

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(850): View more from Florida

His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I think everything's gonna be okay.

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(254): View more from Texas

Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap

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