yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
