so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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