I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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