I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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