Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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