some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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