The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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