I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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