I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
