I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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