perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
