If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
