Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
