I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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