she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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