So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
