So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
