yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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