The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Randomize
