you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
false alarm, still single
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
