Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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