I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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