I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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