remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
