I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
