lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He shit in the fireplace
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
