i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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